Ok let’s get it out there. I hate New Year’s Eve. It’s ridiculous everyone counts down to 0 and everything is the same as before except it’s January.
The month where everyone loses their minds about losing weight, new year new them, being vegan, not drinking. Yet everyone goes back to work and it’s the longest month without getting paid.
The first two weeks of January I was focused on Edith’s first birthday, which was Saturday and was lovely. Everything I arranged went exactly how I wanted it to.
Monday hit and bam I felt like crap- Christmas had gone, Edith is now one and can walk and is no longer my baby, Erin grows up every day but is just like me and worries about everything and Matt went back to work.
I found this picture from a year ago and I look better than I do now and I had a baby two days before. How is that possible?!
I’m not going to lie this week has been tough and it’s only Wednesday. I have fell out of my comfort zone, eaten a shed load of food that’s really bad for me and I can feel it in my jeans and I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to that’s anywhere near.
Monday night I literally didn’t sleep all night and got hormonal and cried! Not a great start. Tonight I have realised things need to change. This isn’t a January thing this is a life thing.
I need to start making time for me, I need to be brave enough to leave Edith for a couple of days, I need to get healthy. I just need to spend a little extra time on things that make me feel me. Not make me Erin’s mum or Edith’s Mum- instead I need to be Faye.
My blog is being completely thrown by the wayside as is my YouTube and that needs to stop, I need to fall back in love with writing and filming because I love it and I love the memories.
So yes January is crap but it’s reminded me of a few things- it’s ok not to be ok, and everything can be fixed. So I am going to fix them. I am making a change – not for January but for me!
This is picture is exactly how I have felt this week! Normal service will resume! Much Love Faye xx