Fertility Files

Being Branded ‘Infertile’ at the age of 21

Welcome to my series of infertility discussions. Every Wednesday for the next few weeks there will be a new post ranging from infertility, PCOS, treatments and IVF. This week I am discussing being branded as Infertile at the age of 21.

Hello, I’m Faye I got married at the age of 19 and came off the pill straight away, I had always wanted to be a mum. I didn’t actively try for a baby but if it happened it happened. For contraception I chose the pill, since I was 15 when I had started my periods. I had only had around 3 periods prior to starting the pill.

At around 7 months after the pill, I had one period. Nothing else. Good old google came into play and this was deemed as normal. Twelve months came and still nothing, I went to the doctors. They told me it was normal and sent me on my way. As I walked out she said come back in two months if you still have nothing. Guess what! Two months later still nothing. I returned and the doctor confessed she had to see my three times prior to sending me for fertility testing. So I returned the month after and was referred.

My appointment came through and all I could think was, I knew it. I had wanted to be a mum for so long. There was a time when I had even said to on of my friends years before- I won’t be able to have children as I want it so badly. I put on a brave face and attended my appointment. I had my first of many internal scans. This confirmed I had Polycystic Ovarian syndrome.  They said it can affect my fertility. Nothing more was said. It should have been, it should have been explained as now I know this isn’t the case.

They just branded me infertile if nothing happened.

As time went on it nothing had happened and I was always going out with my friends who had children or were pregnant for lunch and loved it. I loved being around children. But I felt infertile. My body wasn’t working the same as everyone else’s.

One day I was at lunch with a friend and her baby at my mum’s restaurant. One of my mums friends who knew both my friend and I came in and was excited to see her baby. There was a a lot of cooing over the baby and she turned to me and said ‘Your turn next!’ I just stared at her. The words made me feel sick and I just wanted to scream in her face. I was trying. I was trying to get my body to work normally. Luckily my friend said she is trying but having some problems. Her face dropped and she very quickly made her excuses and left. This didn’t make me feel better as I felt as though I had been shunned and had a horrific disease and nobody wanted to discuss it. I can’t tell you how shit this made me feel.

This was the first of many times where I had felt like I was really shit and that my body didn’t work properly.

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