Before my spell of ‘Mummy guilt’… I managed to have a wonderful child-free day with the lovely Rachel shopping for ball gowns for a masquerade ball, we are heading to as a pre-wedding celebration for her. As per usual we got to the shops and brought things for the children within two minutes of being there!! This pattern continued throughout the trip! We even managed to treat ourselves to lunch without being called mummy 100 times and being forced to eat our food cold!
During lunch we were talking and both admitted we had the dreaded ‘Mummy guilt’ the pang of tearing yourself between enjoying yourself on your own a few times a year and being at home spending every waking minute with your babies.
Let’s go back a few steps- when I arranged this girlie day out shopping I was thinking yes… a child free day, to do as I please and not worry and not have to think about other people before myself- sounds great…in principal.
A few days before my mind goes into overdrive and I start to think about how Erin has gone to her dads (as usual on a Wednesday and Thursday night and I only have Friday and Saturday with her before she goes back to her dads on a Sunday) This made me panic and start to think am I wasting a day I can have with her and losing that time with my little girl. She had an amazing day planned with my partner of visiting relatives, cooking dinner together, shopping and going to the park- so why did I feel so guilty?
I felt like I shouldn’t be using time for myself on a Saturday when I have her and I should instead be having her and enjoying my time with her. It is very rare that I do things without her on the days I have her as I always try and plan around it to stop this vile pang of guilt that I get every time!
When we were at lunch Rachel confessed she too had ‘Mummy guilt’ and she doesn’t even have the problem that her little one is not with her every day, so why should we feel like this? Why do mummies feel guilty? If I think about the bigger picture Erin was having fun and I was only out 10-4pm and I took her to the park and on the fair when I got home to make up for having missed out on her day. Sometimes we need to take time out for ourselves and do things us mummies want to do but how do we get a middle ground and not feel the ‘mummy guilt’ but how do you stop the feeling of missing out on your little ones years as they whizz by in such a flash?