Testing, Tears and Tiaras

Tumbleweed comments people say when you have had IVF?

Welcome back to my fertility series , if you want to check out my previous posts click here: Fertility files

Once you have had IVF and have had one baby, people tend to make some pretty big assumptions! The first one being that you want more children. The second one being that you are magically cured. Many times people have said things to me that I literally stand and glare at them speechless. Why do some people not think before they speak?! This all goes back to… you never know what’s happening inside a home, so think before you speak. I have had a few things said to me. Some absolutely horrendous others I can thankfully laugh at. Here is a list of some of my favourite’s!

  • You have one baby so the immediate question is; Are you trying?? There’s no trying I have IVF….. literally tumbleweed looks on their faces!
  • The classic of; Will you have to have IVF again? NOPE I have done a spell and cured myself- I also attend Hogwarts!
  • Do you want another baby? Yes but as Erin was IVF it would be expensive… hmmm yes two kids are annoying anyway! (Don’t bloody backtrack on me!!!)
  • When a friend says ‘I didn’t mention to you that so and so was pregnant naturally after IVF… I didn’t want to upset you’ It doesn’t upset me!! That’s amazing! (Just don’t tell anyone that’s childless that needs IVF!)
  • Maybe “god” only wanted you to have one child! REALLY?!  Maybe the cost of private healthcare did? the NHS? or the Money tree in my garden? Yep who knows who’s fault it is!!
  • Have you tried to have a baby naturally?! Nope I’m on contraception up to my eyeballs in case of miracles!!
  • Lastly the best one; ‘Maybe you need to have more sex? That worked for me…’ I think my look said it all… thanks for that overwhelmingly helpful piece of advice!!!!

Have you had anything ridiculous said to you about having other kids (IVF or not!)

What not to say to people who are infertile!


  1. Have you.tried..
    Ovulation Kits
    Standing on your head after havi
    Eating Saffron
    Only having sex every 3 or 4 days to ensure you get the best sperm
    Or comments like
    It’s a shame you’d make great.parents
    You’re better off not having any, they cost you a fortune
    In also hated it when.other.people asked me when.I.was a family because you’re not getting any younger are you?
    People ought to know what the.circumstances are before passing judgment

  2. OMG yes to all this. I don’t understand why anyone needs to ask anyone if they’re going to have more kids , whether IVF or not. I used to answer with a vague “ I doubt it.” The. I went to “I doubt it, we had to have IVF” . I left out the bit about having to pay privately and there isn’t a feckin magic money tree. Then you get the “oh well you never know.” I found that if you answer the very first question with “no, I’m barren” they almost certainly revert to talking about the weather.


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