All Posts by

Faye

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parenting

Pregnancy Peer Pressure- It’s up to you!

Having a baby has so much pressure attached to it and over thinking from your own body let alone from other mums. When I was pregnant I was asked so many questions on how I would feed, what I will use in the cot, pushchairs, baby monitors- the list goes on. This is a horrible …

new born baby
parenting

WARNING TMI!! Gross things about childbirth & Kids!

(WARNING TMI POST!!) When you go to the midwife for the first time should there be a book with warnings about how you will feel when certain things happen during pregnancy, childbirth and the earth years? Or would that freak every mum out in the universe!?! Are some things better left unsaid? Well I think someone should mention it as I was pretty shocked! So here is my list of horrific, scary and gross things that occur from pregnancy to the early years. This has TMI so be warned!!

 

  • First things first when you do that pregnancy test the likelihood of getting wee on your hands is high! Whether you wee into a cup first or do it on the stick- either way it’s not glamorous!!
  • During pregnancy the amount of people who have a nosey up your bits and prod and poke you with all sorts of instruments is untrue! Again expect more wee on your hands when trying to get a sample for each midwife appoint as you now can’t see below your bump!!
  • Trying to shave said ‘bits’ whilst pregnant in sheer panic that you could go into labour anytime soon- it’s not happening girls just go natural or have an extremely willing partner!!!
  • Mucous plugs…no one warned me about these delights… apparently something that can come away from you at any time and can be several times… Retreat in your underwear and look like someone has blown their nose into them!!!! (Yuk!!!)
  • Pooing in labour… yep it’s possible and the stats are high girls! Not in your favour!!! You won’t care and midwives don’t mention it or make a big deal- don’t stress about it!
  • Jelly Belly- when you give birth, you look down and your rounded bump has been replaced with what I can only describe as an old grandmas sagging belly! Wrinkled, feels like jelly and when you stand up you feel like your insides are going to fall out!
  • Having to put cabbage leaves in your bra as your boobs are so swollen you look like Pamela Anderson! Another delight- when you stop feeding or choose not to feed your boobs swell up, hurt like hell and you look like you should be on page 3! Get those cabbage leaves at the ready!
  • Getting into the bath and looking like a milk maid! The hot water touches your body and your boobs are sent into overdrive squirting milk everywhere!!
  • Milk explosion! Squirting your child or anything else that’s in the way with milky boobs- your babies ready to feed you try and get a discreet boob out and your child’s just had a face full as well as the dog that won’t leave your side!!!
  • Finding baby sick in your bra- all crusted as you haven’t realised your little delight deposited it 3 hours before!!!
  • You now have a toddler and it eats real food… this only means one thing- when its sick you have to comb chunks of sick out of its hair in the bath… normally with your hands as it doesn’t want you to leave your side to get a comb!!!
  • When children are potty trained they also want to wee at the most awkward places (standstill on the motorway)- this includes weeing in anything that won’t leak… including cereal bags… yes I have been there!!!!!
  • Wiping snot with your hands! There’s never a tissue or baby wipe around when you need one is there?!

If you have any more delights you think should be included to my list drop them in the comments below! We need to warn mummies worldwide so they get prepared!

Mummy 2 Monkeys
Review

Super Sterilising With Nuby!

Nuby are one of those brands you always trust. When babies are little you want to wrap them in cotton wool. Nuby are here to help, with there gorgeous stylish Steriliser. The limited edition black is £30 and available from http://www.nuby-uk.com. Check out what we thought on our vlog!  

Review

Dulux- Daydreaming about new decor?

Changing Decor in the home is tough, especially with kids. During the summer holiday’s the thought of kids assisting in decorating scares me! Neons, glitter, 1000 colours and fur-hmmmm!!! Dulux have recently partnered with child developmental psychologist Dr Sam Wass. Who together have looked into the benefits of involving your child in the decorating process. It …

Review

Nothing in the Fruit Bowl-No Problem!

I am fed up of fruit being brought and being sat in the fridge going off!!! Erin goes to her dads for 1 day and 3 nights a week so when I buy fruit for her I have to buy it tactically so she is able to eat it all before it goes off… most …

Review

#Serenz Stopping Sneezing with Speed!

Sneezing, Snotty, sore? Serenz is the cure! Serenz Allergy Relief is aimed at people with nasal allergies such as nasal congestion, sneezing, itching and a runny nose. The capsule is small enough to be carried around and is quick and easy to use. Serenz is different to other products on the market as it is …

Review

More Bambella Beauties- Play mat review

 One thing I never brought when Erin was tiny was a play mat, I brought all of the standard baby gyms and bouncers; but nobody mentioned how great a play mat would be! When babies start sitting up and rolling over they become a mild nightmare rolling around the floor especially as you put them …

Review

Little Lady Fit for Sport!

Fit for Sport were the answers to all of my prayers they are doing a sports based holiday club at over 100 sites across the UK doing healthy physical activity based sessions for children aged 4 and up. The activities can include swimming, team sports, games- anything to get there exercise juices flowing! All Fit …

Review

Mummy Guilt..that dreaded feeling

Before my spell of ‘Mummy guilt’… I managed to have a wonderful child-free day with the lovely Rachel shopping for ball gowns for a masquerade ball, we are heading to as a pre-wedding celebration for her. As per usual we got to the shops and brought things for the children within two minutes of being …