Sorry about the terrible heading, I think it must be the lack of sleep but it actually made me chuckle to myself!
Anyway, I asked Faye if I could guest post for her as I have loved her blog for a while now and find her mixture of writing and videos really inspiring. I’m getting married in June this year so thought it would be funny to write a post about scenarios where perfectly sane individuals have become professional organisers overnight, freaking out at the sight of an empty to do list. I decided to use this as my topic as I seem to be the polar opposite of a Bridezilla, let’s call me a Bridechilla. Our wedding is in four months and only this week did I order my dress (thanks to a good friend of mine and my father simultaneously berating me for my lax attitude.)
“Have you bought any shoes yet?” errrr no. “Even looked at any?” errr no.
Is this bad?
We’ve got the venue, the ceremony, photographer and caterer booked so the rest is just minor detail, non? Ok maybe the wedding rings are a bit more than minor detail but the rest isn’t so urgent. We haven’t sent out invitations yet but they’re all written out so just waiting for one of us to remember to post them. Our daughters dresses have been chosen but are waiting for pay day to be bought…I’m not worried.
Don’t get me wrong, I think people who are super organised about their wedding are amazing but that just isn’t me. I think it’s because my life is just too hectic so I don’t actually have that time to dedicate to minute wedding details. I have three children aged eleven, eight and nineteen months and my eldest has severe learning disabilities so he can be very challenging and time consuming at times. Working two jobs and trying to run the household means I have very little energy left over for anything else.
I’ll be doing all the flowers the day before. I’m really looking forward to this; a glass of wine with a good friend and a splash of creativity to help get excited about the big day. I’m buying a couple of buckets of flowers from this wonderful florist near me and she’s promised to put lots of fabulous flowers that will complement each other in my and my two daughters bouquets as well as the little jars we’ll be dotting around the place. I’m sure our older daughter (she’s 8) will love this activity too. This florist is truly wonderful as she grows all her own flowers locally! http://www.gillyflower.org.uk Her instagram page is stunning.
That’s it, isn’t it? What do Bridezillas freak out about? I think it helps that neither of us care about colour schemes, chair backings (what are they about anyway?) matching the ushers suits (we have none) with the best man (none either). Table plans? We’re having a bbq in a pub garden so we’re saved from this trauma. Speeches? Nope. Cutting the cake? Not doing this formally.
Maybe this is why I’m so chilled – our wedding reception appears to be more like a garden party with friends and family.
For a bit of humour, I asked a few people to share bridezilla moments that they’ve witnessed. See what you think…
One of my friends was given a lump of money from her parents to go towards their wedding however the parents rather forcefully involved themselves in the arrangements and formalities which started to tip the bride over the edge. She warned them that if they didn’t back off, she’d return the money back and not listen to them any more. Her parents didn’t take the warning seriously so she returned the money which successfully made them realise she wasn’t to be messed with! Thankfully they took it well, re-donated the money but retained their views to themselves unless requested!
Another lady I know had a full on hissy melt down over the fact she couldn’t find enough identical small glass jars to use as favours for her guests. Her husband needed to remind her that the whole point of their wedding is that they will be MARRIED and that he was sure the guests wouldn’t mind missing their glass jar gift.
Regularly, the stress that can come from family members is enough to send people over the edge. A lady told me that they had planned a big white wedding but because some of her family couldn’t do one date they changed everything over to another date only for other members of their family saying they couldn’t do that date either. The same levels of stress came from their family about the chosen venue with some people claiming it was too far away. One night, the bride had a crying melt down and confessed to her partner that she was hating it all and didn’t want to do the traditional thing. They ditched all plans and eloped that year to New York with zero guests and zero stress and had the best time ever. How wonderful! I don’t think this is a Bridezilla moment but family stress can certainly be enough to turn you that way.
Have you had wedding focused demands put on you about your appearance before? One bridesmaid said that her sister, in full on Bridezilla mode a year before her wedding, insisted she grew her hair and didn’t fall pregnant. She managed half of these demands on the wedding day, adorning beautiful long hair however presenting as sixteen weeks pregnant!
Bridezilla moments seem to hit the extended wedding party as well. A bride decided to have six bridesmaids and four flower girls however there was so much bickering and falling out over details that she was forced to give them all individual tasks and deadlines so they were actually productive to the wedding rather than just additional stress! It worked out in the end but the whole thing was hard work.
Ahhhh mother of the bride. Have you ever witnessed that stereotypical nightmare mother of a bride? A friend of mine was really laid back about her whole wedding however her mother was a different story. For some reason, she thought that everything was meant to revolve around her and even stole the hairdresser on the morning of the wedding to do HER hair before the brides! Oh my goodness!! The poor girl was literally doing whatever she could just to stop her mum stressing out so she didn’t ruin the whole event. Wow, just wow.
Another lady was pretty composed for the majority of the preparations however on the day of the wedding, the florist turned up with ivory roses instead of the light peach she was expecting. That was it…she had a complete hissy fit and insisted the florist found and rewired some peach roses for her.
I don’t think I could be like this but I do understand why people want their wedding to day to be exactly as they hoped for. It’s your day! It’s got to be special and precisely as you’ve always wished it. However, it’s important to remember that a wedding is purely meant to represent a celebration of your marriage, it isn’t the focal point of your whole being. It is not an end point. I’ll stick to my Bridechilla style as that’s all I know how to be but I am mildly jealous of everyone out there who has organised their wedding to the nth degree!
Do you have any bridezilla stories to share?
Thanks to the following people for their contributions…