It’s been a week since Erin has been away and she returns today. This time I have been nervous mainly because we haven’t gone on a stunning holiday to take my mind off things and it’s the first time Erin’s been abroad with her dad.
I don’t really know why I was nervous as i knew she would be fine, I think it’s the fact that I miss her more when my mind isn’t occupied.
As sharing of a child goes I think we are really fair. Erin sees her dad every other weekend and on 3 nights over a 2 week period from 5.30pm until 8pm. We both happily switch days or times if we have prior plans and it works really well.
To make a successful plan my tips would be:
- Compromise-without compromise things become hard there will always be times when you need the favour returned.
- If you do switch times or days try and replace the days the other person has missed-I do this unless it’s a long holiday.
- Speak to each other!!! Without being civil and speaking to each other it won’t work.
- Be civil on “handover” I hate the word handover but when you do take your children be civil no matter how much you like or dislike the person or new family. It’s the best for the kids.
- Share Christmas evenly- we always split Christmas evenly and switch the routine from one year to another- this year I have Erin 4pm Christmas Eve until 12pm Christmas Day and see her again Boxing Day until 28th. She then goes back to her dads until 31st. This will switch next year to the opposite plan for me. We both get her Christmas Day and I think that’s important.
- Lastly share the driving. If one of you drops the child off let the other one bring them back- that way you both do your fair share of driving.
Do you have any tips for sharing children when separated?
I understand that not everyone can be understanding or helpful with an ex especially when they put more barriers up than worth thinking about.